Painful Parting
by Kandon Kuuson
Summary: Post-Aliyah, After the return of Gibbs, Vance and Tony from Israel that morning, Tony goes out that night to think and drink, things go horribly wrong when his mind brought on by alcohol begins to accuse him of what he has been and waht he is now.


_Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Belisarius Productions and CBS. I got the location of the Sky Terrace bar off the internet, it is a real place so I don't own that either._

_A/N: Okay so I felt really angsty for some reason and as a result I decided to let it flow. Hope you like it, no one has betaed this, so apologies if something doesn't gel. Please review and let me know what you think._

The sun began to set over Washington DC as Anthony DiNozzo downed another shot of Johnny Walker Black Label. Having ordered the full bottle be left at the low table he was now sitting at in a soft comfortable chair watching the sun set over the Washington Monument, the Executive Office Building and the White House. The glass pressed against his temple as he mulled over the events of the past couple of days since he had returned to the US this morning with Vance and Gibbs. Holding his cell phone in front of his face, his eyes stayed focused on the name and number that was still open in his cell's address book. Staring at the name willing the phone to ring, after sitting there for ten minutes willing her to make some sort of contact Tony finally tossed the phone onto the table with disgust. Closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose Tony let out an exasperated groan, "Stupid…stupid…I can't call, I can't contact her, how the hell can I even…even let her know how I feel."

He poured another shot into the glass and gulped the liquid down before closing his eyes. The view that he was looking at would normally be something he appreciated, at them moment all he wanted to do was get drunk. Pouring a new shot of Johnny Walker, Tony lifted the glass to the sun and gulped the contents down again. Placing the glass on the table Tony ran his hands over his face, "What the hell can I bloody do…she's miles away and doesn't want anything to do with me!"

_You destroy women! Think about it, first Kate, then Jeanne and now Ziva. _Tony shook the thought from his head trying to fight it. "The hell I am!" he poured another drink as he snapped at his thoughts. _You killed Kate! You destroyed Jeanne's life here in DC and she tried to destroy you in return! Now even the woman that would standby you wants nothing more to do with you!_

"Shut up!" Tony snarled at his thoughts.

_You killed Ziva's relationship with you the moment you pulled that trigger killing Michael Rivkin!_

"I said shut up," Muttered angrily, "What do you know! What if I actually love her!"

_Big chance of it being reciprocal, you're as good as dead if you're relying on Ziva ever saying more then a single word to you ever again. _The words in his head accusing him, dragging him further through the mud, adding insult to injury. _Much less if you even get a look at those gorgeous brown eyes ever again. Which isn't gonna happen even if David let's her come back, she hates your guts Anthony DiNozzo why can't you see that!_

"To hell with what you think," Tony snapped as he rose unsteadily to his feet. He slowly stumbled his way out of the bar. "I don't care anymore…" The Cheviot sedan crashed straight into him even with the squeal of the breaks. Tony's body crashed onto the bonnet of the car and then shattering the glass of the windshield before he came to rest onto the road lying on the road spread eagled, blood oozing from his lips, nose and a deep gash on his forehead with chunks of glass embedded. His eyes were open, they slowly closed as his thoughts had one final word. _If she ever returns she will never mourn your passing…you never deserved her love you womanizing bastard._ "I'm not dead yet you bastard," Tony whispered to his thoughts, as his eyes closed slowly as people began to bend over him to check his pulse and to stem the bleeding.

_A/N: Okay I know this is depressing and sad but after everything that happened on the finale, real-life this is quite plausible…don't despair I'm not totally destroying Tiva…I just wanted to explore this. Thanks Kandon_


End file.
